Pyromaniac
by Shade Penn
Summary: Oneshot.This is just a scenario me and my sister came up with if our family ditched us on vacation. Lily meets Inferno and they share their joy of fire...by destroying the base! Crackfic!


I own nothing. My sister owns herself as I own myself. This ws just something we came up with in our free time.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Aw hell, they ditched us!" I yelled.

"This is just like the mall, only we can't get home!" Lily yelled.

"At least we have money." I said holding put the wallet, despite the fact I have no pockets or a purse to put it in.

"Gee thanks!" Lily snatched it out of my hand and ran into the nearest store. She came out carrrying 20 boxes of fireworks and sparklers, and three boxes of matches.

I stare amazed. "How the hell were you able to pay for all that?"

"They had a half off sale!" Lily shouted joyfully.

"Damn pyromaniac." I muttered.

We wandered through the desert for 2 hours, how an 11-year old could carry all those boxes was a mystery to me.

Then we stumbled upon the Autobot base, quite literally. "Ow!" I rubbed my nose from walking into the giant door. "Damn this mysteriously appearing base!"

"Think they got a phone?" Lily asked.

"I don't know, I mean, bases that just appear? That doesn't- Hey!" I shouted when Lily began banging on the door with her free hand.

"Hey in there! Anybody home? Gotta phone?" Lily shouted.

Jazz the Autobot suddenly opens the door. He looks around confused. "Who's there?"

"Us." Lily said.

"Us who?" Jazz asked more confused.

"Down here!" Lily shouted.

Jazz looks down and spots the two humans. "What are two human children doing out here in a desert?"

"I'm not a child! I'm 17 damn it! I'm just short!" I shouted.

"Then what are you, 35?" Jazz asked the other human.

"No, I'm 11." Lily said.

"What are you doing out here?" Jazz asked.

"What do you think? We're on vacation!" Lily shouted.

"Then we got ditched." I sighed. "Woe is me, we're out here alone in this desert with a robot who doesn't understand the concept of peripherial vision." I sighed...again.

"Great, another Huffer and or Gears." Jazz muttered.

"And we're cold." Lily added.

"That too." I hung my head.

"We're in a desert...and it's day." Jazz pointed out.

Lily looked annoyed. "Look, you gonna let us inor not?"

"Oh sure." Jazzmoved out of the way and called down the hall. "Hey, I found two more!"

"Two more what? What do you mean by two more?" I asked dreadfully. Had some other poor sucker gotten lost?

"We found one before you." Jazz replied.

Suddenly someone else spoke. "We din't know his name, so we gave him a new one."

"What did you name him?" Lily asked.

"Chubby boy that eats alot." Jazz said.

I looked in the corner to see a little chubby boy eating chips. "Our brother Dalton?"

The Autobot who spoke before turned out to be Bluestreak. He pokes Dalton in the cheek with a very long thin stick. "Think we should feed it more?"

Jazz thought for a very long moment. "Sure, lets feed it some more and see what happens!" he grabbed Bluestreak by the shoulder and kicked him out, then he shoved me and Dalton out too. "Go buy something and take these two with you!" The door closes.

Jazz stared at Lily. "Now what to do with you?"

Inferno suddenly walks up. "What's in the boxes?"

Lily grinned. "Fireworks...and sparklers...and matches."

Inferno's optics light up. "Did you say fireworks and sparklers and matches?" he asked very quietly.

"Yes." Lily said slowly. "You want to see them?" she opened the matches box and lit one and handed it too Inferno, it still staying lit despite being in the giant hand. Lily grabbed another one and lit it.

They both stared their matches for a long time, at least a full minute before Lily spoke. "I have an idea."

* * *

Meanwhile, Bluestreak, Dalton and I were in a convient store looking for food like Jazz said. Bluestreak had gotten the insane idea of dressing up like a human, or rather, he poorly tried to. He had on a very large hat and tie. Don't know where he got them though.

We buy a bunch of pop rocks and chips. The cashier looks at Bluestreak strangely. "Will that be all?"

"Um, yes." Bluestreak did a very poor impression of a deep voice.

"Well, good-vbye!" I yelled after paying and hurriedly pulled Dalton out of the store incase Blue brought therest of the store down exiting it like he did going in.

He transformed and we got in, Dalton going straight for the chips. Bluestreak drove back to the Autobot base, and we stare in shock as we got out.

We saw Lily and Inferno singing some commercial song and burning half the base.

Lily was lining up fireworks down a hall and lit each one. The fireworks destroyed the ceiling when they went off. She ran around crazily while waving around two sparklers. "I can't see me loving nobody but you for all my life!" she sang.

Inferno was spraying fire out of his firehose, also with a crazed look in his optics that matched Lily's. "When you're with me baby the skies will be blue for all my life!"

They kept repeating this while making more of the base a disaster zone.

"I shouldn't have left her here alone." I said. And thenI noticed that there were no other Autobots here. "And where the hell is Jazz and the other Autobots?"

"Oh, he ran away to get the others!" Lily stopped singing long enough to answer.

Just then there was the sound of sirens and horn honks as the other Autobots rolled up. Clear shock was on each of their faces as they stared in shock at the burning base. Half of it was destroyed whlie the other half had burn and scorch marks.

"Hey, we still have one box left." Lily said happily.

"Excellent." Inferno pressed his fingers together evilly.

Then there was an explosive device at Lily's feet. She picked it up and they both grinned. "One...two...three!" she pressed the button.

"Nooo!" I yelled too late as the rest of the base exploded.

I feel searing glares boring into me. "Is she yours?" Prime asked. I gulp and nod hesistantly. "Then your paying for repairs!"

I pale in anger and in shock. "Damn it!"

A car suddenly pulls up and the back door opens, a voice calling out. "Found him and no one else!" Dalton was pulled in and the car drove away. I gaped.

Inferno looked at Lily. "What was that about?"

Lily shrugged. "They ditched us again."

I turned red and stomped my foot. "Damn it!"

* * *

A/N: I did a bit of editing on this because my compulsive nature wouldn't allow for any spelling errors.

On another note, I was thinking of doing a sequel to this because there is room for one.


End file.
